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Sharon's
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Meaningful Messages
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MD Community

Messages With Humor

From Patty:

Because one eye only has peripheral vision, sometimes I have to close that eye when I'm looking at something close. I guess I just do it without realizing it. Well, the other day I had some dental work done on that side. He said he was giving me plenty of novacain (or whatever they use these days) so I wouldn't feel a thing. When the dentist was done, still standing over me, and took all the junk out of my mouth, he suddenly had a very startled look on his face and said: "Oh, no! I put your eye to sleep, too!". I thought I was going to die laughing and, of course, he didn't know what was so funny until I had regained my composure enough to tell him.


From Irving:

I have frequently referred to Senior Moments and "chemo brain" to explain my lapses in attention, memory, etc. I have seen numerous posts of others on the list making similar explanations. It occurs to me that this only adds a little bit of stress to our already stressed out lives, and makes it that much more difficult for our eyes to maintain their health.

Soooo I have decided to redefine these episodes as being spontaneous creativity. That way I am turning what could be a destructive process into a positive one. For example, yesterday morning I had just showered and shampooed my two hairs. After carefully brushing them into place, I was then ready to shave. I have always used Williams Lectric Shave as a preshave conditioner. Recently, they have changed that to a gel. So I carefully measured out the prescribed amount in my hands and proceeded to briskly rub it into my scalp.

Actually, I like it better as a hair conditioner than as a preshave conditioner. So you see, I was spontaneously creative, and my eyes got a lot of relief from this, where I would otherwise been worrying about where this was all leading.


From Maxine:

The other evening I came in from watering the garden, all wet and ready for a shower. I took off my clothes and placed what I thought was my wet socks on top of my tennis shoes by the backdoor ready for the next day. Since I have had MD, I do not look really close sometimes. I tend to hazard a guess, because I get tired of not seeing. Anyway, I was very surprised when I got up the next morning and found my bra carefully put on top of my tennies.

It was certainly a good laugh. I am glad there were no early morning visitors to my house!!


From Sharon:

My sister's little girl tells others that her Mom can't see very well. This is instead of the term she used in the past: "My Mom is illegally blind!" Of course the laughs have driven her to a simpler description.


From Dan:

It has occured to me that by sitting on your glasses, you might have learned from hindsight. Just a thought that I couldn't resist passing along.


From John:

There is a clinical term for this condition. It is called rectomyopia.


From John:

Time of year to count our blessings with my top ten list.

Due to low vision:

10. I can no longer look into the morning mirror and declare, "Gawd , you look awful."

9. When solicitors approach with religious pamphlets in hand I can honestly say, "I cannot read your literature."

8. I no longer leave the loo seat up for reasons not to be discussed here.

7. I must ride my bike on our main street (no sidewalks), and I am elated at how friendly the motorists are. They are always tooting their horns at me. Some even wave a greeting with one finger.

6. I no longer read newspapers, which has lowered my blood pressure considerably.

5. I have developed a sting, wherein I offer the clerk a $20 bill and say, "This tenner is all I have." I am happy to report that 7 out of 10 clerks do not take advantage of the situation.

4. I now qualify for a handicapped sticker on my car.

3. I have learned there are some caring, sensitive doctors who sacrifice their precious time to aid us on MDList.

2. I met so many fine people on MDList. I believe we are all cousins, for we share some unique DNA markers.

1. I learned that Capt. Dan runs a tight ship and made my voyage to low vision much more tolerable.

Grief | Fear | Anxiety & Depression | Denial | Courage | Anger | Acceptance | Humor


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